Thursday, December 5, 2013

Great Post-Op

Now that I've completely healed from my surgery, I'm ready to start treatments. I was supposed to start my first round the week of Thanksgiving. I had everything planned, medicine and all, and I was ready to go. I got to the doctor's office to do my baselines and have an ultrasound, and they found a 4cm cyst on my ovary. Great!! That's really all I could say. You can't do treatments with a large cyst. They told me I'd have to wait another month. I was so disappointed. I cried all the way home. They had no explanation for why I had a cyst. I had surgery the month before, so there were no drugs in my system to cause a cyst. It just popped up on its own. I've never had cysts, so it was a bit odd. To top it off, they made me take birth control pills to shrink it, which totally defeats the purpose.

Today was my post-op appointment. Because if you remember, I missed my appointment on November 5th. I somehow got in my head that the appt. was the 22nd. Then they couldn't get me in until today. So I had surgery on October 25th and couldn't see the doctor again until December 5th. I think that's one reason why my failed cycle last month upset me so much. I had two setbacks in a row. Anyway, my appt. went really well. We talked about my surgery, and he reassured me that he found absolutely nothing to be concerned about. He said he only found two small lesions of endometriosis, so it was very minor, and the polyps were benign.

We had a great conversation, and I told my doctor that if he thought IVF was the answer, I would prepare myself for it and accept it, but if he thought there was hope through IUI, I wanted to continue. He assured me that he's not ready for IVF yet. He reminded me that I'm not old. I always feel like a clock is ticking furiously, but he said, "You're only 36. You aren't old yet. If you were older, we might try some other options." I know 36 seems older to most, but in the world of fertility clinics that see people in their forties, I'm still young.

He said that we've been so careful with my treatments, not wanting to cause multiples or a risky pregnancy, but he agreed that now is the time to get aggressive. I agreed and mentioned to him that a friend recently said to me, "God already knows how many children he is going to give you, so just go for it." That statement resonated with me and was just a reminder that God's got this under control. He went on to say that he doesn't know what my threshold is or how many eggs I can actually produce because we've never pushed my limits. And, IVF couldn't even be an option until we discover my limits.  He said that there is nothing wrong with me internally, and looking back at my previous cycles, I've responded very well to the drugs. I produce eggs. It's just that I have to wait for that perfect one, and according to him, increasing my dosage only heightens my chance of producing more eggs and heightens my chance of a pregnancy.

With that being said, I will begin taking some supplements that can help with egg production. It's a cocktail of hormones and vitamins. I'll take those for the next month. When I come back from Christmas, I will start my next cycle, and I will be taking a high dosage of straight injectable drugs. Pray I don't have quintuplets or something. Also, if I act weird over the course of the next two months, just remember that I have multiple drugs pumping through my body, and my hormones are on a roller coaster ride.

It's all good though. I'm healthy and blessed, and God is in control. Richard and I will be parents very soon. That I can promise you. Please continue to keep us both in your prayers. I've included the link to our fundraising site. All of this costs quite a bit of money. God is faithful and always makes a way. Thanks for all of your love and support http://www.youcaring.com/medical-fundraiser/our-journey-to-parenthood/50742




Saturday, November 16, 2013

Healthy and Blessed

Most of you know that I had exploratory surgery on October 25th. I wanted to do that before we continued with any treatments. I appreciate all of your prayers and kind words. My surgery went really well. The doctor didn't find much at all, but that was exactly what I prayed for. He found a little bit of endometriosis. I know most people freak when they hear ENDOMETRIOSIS. However, it's really very common, and a lot of women have a little bit, and it never impacts their ability to conceive at all. It's the more severe cases that cause issues. It is rated on a scale of 1-4. Mine was barely stage one, so it's really no big deal. He lasered it all out.  He also did a D&C to remove some excess endometrial tissue. He found a few polyps and removed those as well. He said that it was all very common and nothing to worry about and that he was just mainly cleaning things up.

Now that all of that has been done and we know all my plumbing works properly, we will be proceeding with fertility treatments. Within the next month, we will do another round of treatments with an increased dosage of medicine. It's hard to do treatments during the holidays, but you do what you have to do. I would appreciate your prayers that my treatments won't impact my holiday travels. You all know that my family is down in Dothan, and I really don't want to cut my visits short.

I like to keep you all updated, because so many of you are praying for us. Thank you to all who have contributed towards our fundraising efforts. Thanks to you, we have been able to pay off almost all of our treatments from the summer. We can start anew this next month.

We still covet your prayers. Please pray that the treatments work, and we will have our baby soon. Please pray that we will be able to afford the treatments. God is so good, and I know he has his arms wrapped around us. I know our baby is on its way. Also pray that I won't have to miss so much work. It is so hard to plan for subs, and the amount of work I have to do after being absent is stressful. I found that out firsthand after missing a week of work because of my surgery. Plus, teachers don't have tons of sick days, and I need mine for maternity leave.

Thanks again for your love and support.

Shatisa

Thursday, September 19, 2013

Feeling Blessed

I know that I've been horrible about updating my blog, but it's been a little hectic around here. I found out August 27th that I wasn't pregnant, so even though both cycles were the best ones I've ever had, I failed to achieve pregnancy. I would've posted a blog, but honestly, I've been so busy adjusting to the new school year and this ridiculous eight-period day. It has truly been a nightmare and very stressful. The good news is that it's kept my mind off all this fertility stuff. Plus, I wanted to wait until I met with our doctor before I posted any updates.

Richard and I had to take a day off today to have a video conference. That may not seem like something you would need to take a day off for, but I always end up waiting forever to see the doctor, and today was no exception. They were running behind as usual. We had a nice appointment. Dr. Allemand said that I responded the best that I ever have. They definitely found the perfect dose and combination of meds. He literally said that he was baffled as to why I'm not pregnant. They've gone down the list checking for every possible reason, but I don't have any conditions.

He gave us two options. First, we can do a cycle with a really high dose of meds. However, I've tried to avoid that because of the increased chances of multiples. Second, he said we could do exploratory surgery to rule out anything internal that hasn't shown up in tests.  I chose the second option. I just feel like we should rule out everything before we spend more money. I told him about a sweet friend who has two unused boxes of our meds and offered to sell them to me at a very low price, which is truly a blessing. So, if he decides after the surgery that he still wants to do an increased dosage, we have the meds.

No one wants to have surgery. I hate missing school with all that is within me, but it is what it is. I will have surgery in October. I don't know the dates yet. The surgical nurse should call sometime this week or next to schedule it. I will have it done at Brookwood Medical Center in Birmingham. It will be outpatient surgery, and I will be able to go home that evening. He said it normally takes 4-5 days to recover, depending on what has to be done. If he finds excessive endometrial tissue, he will do a D&C and remove it, and if he finds any endometriosis, he will go ahead and laser it. Those procedures could cause recovery to be a little longer. He will do laparoscopy and hysteroscopy, which are very common.

Honestly, I'm fine with it. I said we would be aggressive this year and do whatever we have to do to get pregnant, and that is exactly what we are doing. God is in control, and I know I'm having a baby. I was reminded recently that God loves me, I will have a baby sooner than I think, and God wants my life and my story to be a blessing and a testimony for him and his glory. I truly believe those things.

God has already blessed us. Richard got an extra part-time job, and I started teaching voice/piano lessons from home. Those extra jobs have helped out tremendously. A sweet friend offered us her unused meds for only $200. You have no idea how much that saves us. And, despite having to wait today, they felt sorry for the wait and didn't charge us. Those are all great financial blessings. Fertility treatments are expensive, but God is making a way.

Thank you all for your prayers and kind words. It means so much to us. Continue to pray for us. Pray that the surgery goes smoothly and there are no serious issues.

Friday, August 9, 2013

Round 2

I've been really quiet about the fertility stuff the last couple of weeks. There is no particular reason other than the fact that I've been busy getting ready for school, and I just don't need to be consumed with it every waking minute. I was sad that the last treatment didn't work, but I am hopeful that this one will. God is in control. I just have to let go and let him handle it.

I am doing the same thing as last time, just at a slightly higher dosage. I am currently taking my injections, and I will go in some time next week to do the procedure. I have an appointment Sunday in Birmingham, and I will know then when we will do the procedure for sure. After that I have the horrible two-week wait. This time I will be too busy with school to notice every twinge. That's a very good thing.

Just continue to pray for good results and good progesterone levels and a positive pregnancy test. But, don't forget to pray for me and Richard. Fertility treatments are rough and keep you on an emotional roller coaster ride. We believe that our time is coming. Our baby is on its way. It's just a matter of time. We really need this procedure to work. We've maxed out our insurance and now have to pay for all drugs ourselves. It is extremely expensive. I really don't want to have to do a round without drug coverage. Plus, fundraising is not fun. You run out of things to do. However, if we have to raise more money, I guess a garage sale will be next, but don't worry, I'll be sure to pick an off weekend. We are Bama fans for sure.

No matter what, I know that nothing is impossible with God. He sees the big picture and knows the perfect time for us to have a baby. If we get pregnant this time, that will be amazing, and I am believing we will.  If we don't, we will take a month off for sure and meet with our doctor to see what he would like to do next. We will continue treatments during the school year if we have to.

Pray, pray, pray! That's what we need right now. Thanks for your prayers, kind words, and support. We really appreciate the outpouring of love we've received from our friends and family.

Tuesday, July 30, 2013

Negative


Well, I'm not pregnant. It's okay. After eight years of trying, that's ninety-six times that I've gotten a negative. That doesn't make it any easier. It still hurts just the same, but it makes you resilient. You bounce back faster and keep on truckin'.

I really am fine. You don't have to console me or feel sorry for me. And whatever you do, please don't give me advice. Now is not the time to tell me that I just need to relax or go on vacation or drink a glass of wine. I have heard every single piece of advice possible and have tried numerous things to get pregnant. Infertility is a medical condition. If you broke your foot, I wouldn't tell you to just relax and not stress. I'd tell you to get your butt to a doctor. I know people mean well, but you must think before you speak. All I want you to do is pray for me. 

We have 2 1/2 weeks until school starts, so that gives me enough time to get another round in.  Hopefully, that one will work. If it doesn't, then we will take a month off and start back after I get settled into the new school year. No matter what, we will keep on trying.

I don't understand why this keeps happening, but I know God sees the big picture. He knows the perfect time for us to get pregnant, and we will. I don't know a lot of things, but I know that nothing is impossible with God. And I know, without a doubt, that we will be parents. We have a peace about it.

Please continue to pray for all the things you prayed for last time. I responded very well to this medicine. It was one of the best responses I've had, so it's just a matter of time. My doctor doesn't want to change anything. Thanks for your prayers and support. 

Sunday, July 14, 2013

Sunday Morning Appointments

Woke up bright and early this morning with a smile on my face and peace in my heart. We had an 8:15 doctor's appointment in Birmingham. Yes, fertility doctors are open seven days a week. I'm not making   this stuff up. I hate missing church, but you do what you have to do. The good thing about these appointments is that there is no traffic and plenty of parking.

While everyone else was in church, we sat in a cold waiting room surrounded by very young couples nervously waiting. I play this game when I sit in the waiting room. I read everyone's body language and figure out what his/her stories are. We were definitely the oldest ones there today and the only veterans at this fertility stuff. The room was filled with kids in their early to mid-twenties. They were nervous and fidgety and unsure. They didn't know where to sign in or what to do. They were new to this, probably their first procedures. I wanted to look at them and tell them it would all be okay. They are so young and have plenty of time, but, of course, I didn't say a word.  You know you're a veteran when the staff can pronounce your name correctly. That may not be the case for you, but with the name Shatisa, that says a lot.

Let me rewind a little and get you caught up. Everything I asked you to pray for in my last blog was answered. My estrogen level was perfect, my period was late, my CMV test was normal, I didn't have to buy anymore medicine, and I responded perfectly. As I told you before, I tried a less expensive round of drugs this time. We went in today to measure my follicles and make sure I responded.  When you take fertility drugs, they cause you to produce more follicles. Follicles produce eggs. Some women produce lots of follicles and can produce lots of eggs. This can result in multiples, and you hear about that a lot. I'm not trying to produce massive amounts of follicles or eggs, and at my age, that's probably not going to happen anyway. Give me one good egg, and I'm set.

A mature follicle has to measure 1.8 mm. They say that the smaller ones can produce an egg, but normally your mature ones will be in the 1.8-2.0mm range.  I had three follicles today, which is fine. I had two smaller follicles on one side, but I had a good mature follicle on the right side that measured 1.9 mm. I didn't produce as many follicles this time because I took a different drug. I had several follicles last year, but I still never had more than one or two mature ones. Anyway, I asked the nurse if she wanted me to finish up my remaining medicine, but she said no. She said I responded and had a mature follicle and was ready to go. All you need is one egg. Normal ovulating women produce one egg every month. I have to take my trigger shot tonight. It will cause me to ovulate in 36 hours. I will go back Tuesday morning for my IUI.

There are a few things I need you to specifically pray for. They checked my progesterone today. You want it to be around 200 for every mature follicle, so pray that I have good numbers. Pray that my IUI works Tuesday and I'm pregnant. On the 23rd they will do blood work again and check my progesterone after the IUI. Anything over 10 means that you ovulated, but they like for it to be higher on a  medicated cycle. Pray for good numbers. I will go back for my pregnancy test on the 30th. My anniversary is the 31st, so that would be a great anniversary gift. Just pray, pray, pray, but most importantly, thank him and praise him for all he's done for us.

God is so good to me. He has answered all of my prayers and continues to bless me. I don't know what people do without him. I'm ready to be a mom. Call me crazy, but I know that I know that I know I am having a baby.  This is my month. Nothing is impossible with God.

Saturday, July 6, 2013

Answered Prayers

Warning!!! If you get grossed out by the female reproductive system, you might not want to read this.

Just in case you didn't know, I want you to know that God answers prayers.  In my last blog I asked people to pray about my CMV test results and to pray that my period would be a few days late.  Well, my test results came back, and I am negative.  That means we are clear to proceed, and my period was late, to the point that the doctor had to write me a prescription for something to make me start.  I thought that was funny.  In fact, I didn't start my period until after my test results were back.  It was all perfect timing. Never think that your prayer request is too insignificant.  God cares about you, and if it isn't insignificant to you, then it isn't insignificant to him.

I will start taking my medication today.  I will take it for most of the next week, and then I will begin taking shots.  I hate giving myself shots, but it goes with the territory.  I've gotten used to it by now. Today is day three of my cycle, so days three through eleven I will be on medication.  I will go back to the doctor Sunday the 14th for an ultrasound.  That is part of taking these drugs.  You have to be monitored constantly to make sure your ovaries aren't hyperstimulated.  I will have to have my follicles measured and checked pretty regularly.  This is when they will determine if I need more medication or an increased dosage. 

I do have a few prayer requests for this week.  First, I had blood work done Monday and Friday.  My estrogen was too high Monday, so they tested it again Friday.  Please pray that my estrogen is where it needs to be.  Second, pray that this new medicine works really well and I won't have to increase my dosage and order more medicine.  If they need to do that, I would love it if they would just give me some samples.  They've done that before.  It saves money. Also, please pray that the procedure works.  I'm ready to have a baby.  I get tired of doing these procedures, and I don't want to have to do IVF if I can help it.

For those of you who have contributed money or helped with our fundraising, I want you to know where your money has gone.  So far, we've spent $1500 on this procedure.  That isn't counting the other copays that we will pay or any extra medicine we may have to order. I am thankful that we didn't have to do IVF.  That would've been even more money, but the fact is that ALL procedures are expensive.  We are still fundraising and will continue to do so.  We have one week to go on our Avon fundraiser, and we are doing another fundraiser this next week.

Thanks for your prayers and words of encouragement.  I will continue to keep you posted.  As always, here is the link to our fundraising site:  http://www.youcaring.com/medical-fundraiser/our-journey-to-parenthood/50742.

Friday, June 21, 2013

Minor Setbacks

I've said it before, and I really mean it. I believe I'm having a baby. I completely believe in miracles. I absolutely believe to the core of my being that nothing is impossible with God. I believe that a doctor is not necessary for me to conceive. I wait every month to see if I'm pregnant, because I believe that I can naturally conceive a child. I don't care what doctors say. I'm under the care of the great physician, who is able to do more than we ask or imagine.  So I let setbacks and frustrations roll off my back. 

After a great doctor's appt. Monday, we got a couple of test results back that are frustrating. They tested my AMH, which they don't test until you are over the age of 35. It is a test that measures how many eggs they think you have. Well, anything under 1.0 means that your eggs are starting to deplete. My number was .44. It's not the end of the world. It's common for women as they age. It just means that I don't have as many eggs left. For the first time in my life, I feel old. Women in their forties oftentimes have numbers that are .1 or don't even measure, and they still conceive. It's just a small puzzle piece in the puzzle that is fertility. That test wasn't a big deal. It's expected as you age. It doesn't change anything. 

However, we did another test called the CMV test. It's a common virus that women carry and never even know they have. You need to be positive or negative for the virus. It's really very difficult to explain. My test came back showing that I am currently infected with it. It looks to be changing over to positive but hasn't yet. They can't continue on with our treatments until they retest me. The test will be done in two weeks, which is July 5th. They have to get the results back before we can proceed. This may be too much information for you, but my period is supposed to start July 2nd. I have to go in and have my baselines and start my medicine around days 3-5. We will be cutting it really close. It could mean that we can't do the procedure in July and will have to wait until August. I don't want to do that. I was hoping to have time to do two, if needed, before school starts back. 

It's a minor setback, but it's all good. God is in control. I just need prayer. The most amazing thing in the world would be for me to be pregnant and never even have to do the procedure. If not, then I need my period to be a few days late so that we can get the test results in. I need you all to pray. Thanks!

Tuesday, June 18, 2013

Game Plan

Yesterday was my doctor's appointment. It went better than I could have expected. He was very positive and wants to continue with what we did last summer. He isn't ready for IVF yet. That was great news because I was afraid he was going to look at my chart and results from last year and say that there is no point in continuing and that we should just go ahead with IVF.  That would mean a wasted summer because we don't have enough money raised to do that yet.

In fact, he said my treatments last summer seemed to work very well, even though we didn't achieve a pregnancy. I was concerned that we might start seeing some issues because of my age, but he said that I was fine. He saw no reason for any concern with age at the moment. That is all great news to hear.

However, even though we aren't doing IVF yet doesn't mean we don't need to raise money. It cost over $4000 to do two rounds of treatments last summer. My insurance only pays 50% of fertility medication up to $2500. We have just about maxed that out. My doctor is working with us, and we are going to try two new medications this first round and see if they work. That should help with the cost a little.

We have only raised about $350, but that has already helped. Yesterday's copay would've been $100, but we had some credits, so it was knocked down to $89. That was a blessing. I'm just gonna do what I have to do to get pregnant and step out on faith. I know God is going to send the money. You never know. I could be pregnant right now and never even do the first procedure, or I could get pregnant with the first procedure and not have to worry about affording another. God is in control. I don't know when or how, but one thing is certain: I will have a baby.

I appreciate all of your prayers and support. If you are interested in helping with our fundraising, we are currently doing an Avon fundraiser. You can message me for details, and as always, here is our fundraising site: http://www.youcaring.com/medical-fundraiser/our-journey-to-parenthood/50742.

Monday, May 20, 2013

Malachi 3:10

Well, we were hoping to get approved for the Compassionate Care Program, but we didn't. The letter came in the mail today. They said we make too much money. I really don't know how that is possible.  I'm sure the bonus money I got from the AP grant program pushed us over the limits. Never mind the fact that I used every dime of that money to pay for treatments last summer. Oh, the irony! Needless to say, I'm a little down about it. They did say they'd give us a 10% discount, which doesn't help much when your medicine is in the thousands. Plus, our insurance is almost maxed out, but it will be okay. God will make a way. He always does.

Richard and I are constantly looking for jobs on the side to help with the cost. If I could just get a piano, I could start giving voice lessons again. Therein lies the problem. I don't have a piano, and they cost money. It will work out. I'll get a piano soon or a little job will come open. Richard and I tithe, and because of that, the Lord has blessed us. He will send us the money (Malachi 3:10). There are people out there who are struggling to put food on their tables, so I can't complain.

I talked to my sister Melanie today about doing an Avon fundraiser. We are going to get that together soon, and I will keep you all posted. If you have any fundraising ideas, just let me know. As always, I've attached the link to our fundraising page below. Continue to keep us in your prayers. Dealing with infertility is an emotional roller coaster ride. One day you're up, and the next day you are down.

http://www.youcaring.com/medical-fundraiser/our-journey-to-parenthood/50742

Sunday, May 12, 2013

Happy Mother's Day

Some women who are dealing with infertility are really bothered by Mother's Day. I've never really felt that way. I do sometimes feel uncomfortable when they ask all the mothers to stand. It kind of singles you out, but it's no big deal. I don't cry or squirm in my seat. I just look at all the babies and long for the day when I will be dedicating mine.

However, I think that Mother's Day makes other people uncomfortable around me.  They all mean well, but many of them just say the wrong thing or give you that I-feel-sorry-for-you look. I can't speak for everyone, but I'd prefer people not to ask me if I'm okay or fret over me. I'm fine, and I really don't want attention drawn to me. You don't have to say anything to me or console me. I really am okay, because I'm completely confident that I'm going to have a baby soon.

I would love it if churches did something for the women who were never able to have children or the ones who are dealing with infertility or the ones who have felt the sting of losing a child or the ones who never married. It would be nice to see a flower arrangement in the sanctuary with a note in the bulletin dedicating it to those women. Just a simple reminder that we are not forgotten would be a wonderful gesture. Maybe I can do that one day.

To all you wonderful mothers out there, never take for granted what you have. Thank God every day for your blessings. Always remember that there are plenty of women who would give anything to have what you have. Thank you for all you do, and Happy Mother's Day.

 http://www.youcaring.com/medical-fundraiser/our-journey-to-parenthood/50742

Wednesday, May 8, 2013

D-Day

Well, we made our appointment today.  I was hoping to get in earlier, but the first available appointment isn't until June 17th. We didn't get in until June 12th last year.  I just forgot that they are so booked. I'm slightly disappointed that we can't go any sooner, but I can get in some vacation time before the madness begins. It's my fault.  I've been so busy that I just kept putting it off.

We were able to get two cycles in before school started back last year, but I told Richard that we will have to continue into the school year this upcoming year.  Now that I'm 36, I don't have the luxury of putting off procedures until the summer every year.  I'll just have to do what I can during the school year. It's stressful, but I'm sure I can make it work.

I'll keep you all updated.  Right now, I just need your prayers.  I'm a little down and frustrated about having to wait until the middle of June to begin. It is what it is.  There is nothing I can do about it.  Please continue to pray that we will be approved for the Compassionate Care Program.  Having up to 75% of our medication costs paid would be a tremendous help.  As always, here is the link to our fundraising website: http://www.youcaring.com/medical-fundraiser/our-journey-to-parenthood/50742.

Saturday, April 27, 2013

Spring Is in the Air

Well, it's that time of year again, time to head back to the fertility clinic. I dread it. It's never fun to put yourself through all the tests and procedures; plus, it is extremely expensive, not to mention that it sucks up all my time and enjoyment during the summer.  It's hard to plan any trips or events because you have to go to the doctor at random times to have bloodwork and ultrasounds done. If you are a modest person, you won't be after fertility treatments. Heck! You get used to being naked and exposed in front of all kinds of people.

Anyway, I found out, through a friend, about the Compassionate Care Program. It's a program that pays for up to 75% of the cost of your fertility drugs for up to one year. We've gotten the paperwork, and we are in the process of filling it out. I need to make an appt. with the doctor before we send it in. I'm trying to get finished with my seniors before I make an appt. They take exams May 9th and 10th, and then I will be able to make appointments and not have to worry about getting a sub. Please pray that we are approved. My insurance only pays half of the cost of drugs, up to $2500. We've just about maxed it out. We may be able to get one more prescription, but that is it.

We've had around $300 in donations. I am very appreciative of the people who were willing to help out. That money will help tremendously. Our co-pay alone is about $50 each time we go, not to mention all the gas we use driving to Birmingham and back. We will definitely have to do some fundraising as soon as things slow down.  I really need summer to hurry up and get here. Thank you all for the prayers and support. I will keep you posted. Here is our fundraising website link. Please feel free to share it with others.  http://www.youcaring.com/medical-fundraiser/our-journey-to-parenthood/50742.