In the two weeks since my last blog, things have changed. I was really feeling down, but I have been reminded of God's love for me in a tremendous way. Countless people have sent me cards, texts, messages, and have even approached me with a hug telling me how they've been praying for me. I can't express to you how much that means to me.
As I sat in the doctor's office this past week, I noticed a woman who is there often when I am. She was crying and is always crying every time I see her there. I felt compassion for her, because I know what she feels like, but I also hurt for her because I could see the hopelessness in her eyes. Sure, I have days when I'm down and depressed, but I've never lost hope. I can't imagine going through infertility without knowing Christ or not having faith or hope in him. I'm not saying that she doesn't know Christ. I'm just saying that I was reminded of that when I looked at her. Without faith in God's ability and the hope that things will get better and I will be pregnant, I couldn't make it.
Everywhere I look I see reminders of God's goodness. Richard's car broke down a couple of days after my last blog. The old adage "When it rains, it pours" was running through my head. The repair was only $1100, which might not be too much to some, but to those who are spending thousands on medical treatments, it can be a huge burden. But, God made a way for us to pay for it. When we started back doing fertility treatments, we were fundraising pretty heavily. We raised around $1,000, which was a huge blessing, but the money stopped coming in. However, as I stepped back and took a look, I realized that God was answering my prayers but in a different way than I had expected. First, we didn't have to spend nearly as much money on our last treatment because a friend sold us her leftover meds for $200. Recently, another friend of mine donated all of her leftover meds. We are talking about six boxes of Follistim, not to mention the progesterone, Menopure, and supplements she sent me as well. She saved us over a thousand dollars, and my parents are coming to see me in a little over a week, so they can bring me the meds. My eyes were opened, and I realized that he hears my prayers and is answering them.
Interestingly enough, the medicine she donated to me is exactly what my doctor decided to put me on for this next round. Coincidence? I think not. We discussed my previous cycles and talked about the best way to make my body respond. He joked that my ovaries don't like him. He also talked about how I just don't have as many eggs as a 36 year old should have. Some people might have been upset by that news, but I just kept thinking, "Is that all you've got? That's a piece of cake for God. I'll ask God to replenish my eggs, and that's that. I mean, come on! He turned water into wine, made the blind to see, raised the dead. This is nothing." I'm not phased by that at all. Don't worry though. The doctor is not ready to throw in the towel. He's just trying different concoctions of medicine that will make my ovaries respond. There are women a lot older than I am with much fewer eggs still getting pregnant through fertility treatments.
I will try another round at the end of the month. Pray that my new meds will work and I will have a great response. Pray for eggs, eggs, and more eggs. Hold on! Don't go overboard. I don't need sextuplets. I'm just aiming for one, possibly two babies. I just need it to work. I need good news, no setbacks. Please pray for my sweet friend who donated her meds to me. She finds out next week if she is pregnant, and I pray that God blesses her just like she blessed us.
Thank you for all of your prayers and support. They mean the world to us. When you pray for us, don't forget to praise God for what he is doing in our lives. He wouldn't bring us this far to leave us empty handed. There is something wonderful just around the bend.
