The Days Are Long but the Years Are Short

It’s official! She’s ours.  Her adoption was finalized in May.  That’s such a blessing since they told us it wouldn’t be final until July.  We have her new social security card and are waiting on her new birth certificate.  Hannah Kate is now Madison Avery.  

Life is wonderful.  I finally feel like I’m doing what God created me to do. I’m a mommy.  My life feels fulfilled. There is a hole that has been filled by a precious baby girl.  My family is now complete, and I can’t imagine life without her. 

However, I’m not going to pretend like it’s been easy.  It hasn’t.  The first two months were a major adjustment. Someone gave me an expression that says it all:  “The days are long but the years are short.”  I’m learning how true that really is. Most women have nine months to psych themselves up for motherhood.  I had a month to absorb everything.  In one month I went from not knowing anything about a baby, not having a nursery, not even thinking about adopting to having a beautiful girl and a completely stocked nursery.  God is good. But, all that blessing came with stress.  I was on an emotional roller-coaster ride, so when I brought Madison home, I started suffering from post-partum depression, which I didn’t even know was possible when you adopt, but after reading online and talking to an OBGYN, I found out that it is very common.  I found myself crying constantly, afraid to be alone with the baby, completely overwhelmed, but once my doctor put me on a low dose of Lexapro, things have been wonderful. Now I can actually enjoy the baby.  She sleeps well, so I am actually getting plenty of sleep now.  

I have learned a lesson about adoption.  I was always afraid to adopt.  I had heard horror stories of birth parents wanting the children back.  I had heard of kids born with addictions.  I was afraid of not bonding with the baby.  I was worried about how an adopted child would be treated. I was afraid of the cost and paperwork, but I can tell you that if God wants you to adopt, you have nothing to worry about.  It wasn’t too costly.  It was fast and easy, no complications.  I bonded with her immediately.  When I look at her, I can’t imagine that I would feel any differently with a biological child. She is mine.  To those of you who have thought about adopting but are frightened, don’t be.  It’s a true blessing and gift from God.  

Adoption has made me view my own mother in a different light.  I appreciate her even more now that I realize how much she sacrificed and how difficult it must have been to work full time and raise four children.  It’s hard enough with one.  Most importantly, as a Christian, it has made me view my God differently.  I look at Madison and am so proud of her.  I love her with a love I can’t explain.  I am reminded that God looks at me the same way.  He is so proud of me and loves me with unconditional love.  I get it now.  I also can’t imagine how he gave his only son for me, how he watched him die on that cross in agonizing pain.  I look at Madison and my heart breaks to think about that.  My eyes have been opened. 

We have a new normal now, and I like it.  I don’t want to go back to the way it was. We were blessed to both be able to take off work with her.  Richard just went back to work, and I am now off for eleven weeks.  Summer vacation is going to be wonderful.  Then she is off to daycare in the fall.  That will be a sad day, but I know they will take good care of her.

Madison will be three months old Wednesday.  She is growing so quickly.  She’s around twelve pounds now.  She gets up once a night at 3:00 am, but she takes her bottle and goes back to sleep.  She started teething and chews on everything.  She cackles and coos constantly and is almost flipping over. She loves to give her mommy slobbery kisses. I love it.  My heart melts every single time she grabs me.  She also loves to play with my hair, especially when she’s eating or is sleepy.  She rarely cries, loves to shop with me, sleeps at restaurants, and is a perfect angel 99% of the time.  We are blessed with a very good baby.  The greatest challenge we face is trying to tame her wild and curly hair. 

Someone asked us today if we wanted to adopt another one.  Who knows!? We didn’t even know about this one.  We just follow God’s lead.  Whatever he wants us to do, we will do it.  In fact, God has a sense of humor, so I wouldn’t be surprised if I got pregnant on my own now after all these years. God isn’t done with us yet.  I am sure great things are on the way.  It’s exciting to sit back and watch.  Nothing is impossible with God. 

Thank you all for your prayers, kind words, and support.  We have experienced an overflow of God’s love and provision. We feel so loved by everyone.