Most of you already know that our last treatment did not
work. I posted a blog last week about
it. It was very disappointing, to say
the least. We went in today for our
follow-up appt. with our doctor. He said
that on paper my last treatment was picture perfect. It was the best response that I’ve ever
had. Honestly, the last five have been
wonderful. There is no reason why I shouldn’t
be pregnant. They were all great
responses, but I’m not, so there is some kind of issue. It could be that I’m not producing quality
eggs. It could be that sperm cannot
penetrate my eggs. Those are all things
that you can’t find out unless you are looking at it under a microscope. However, my doctor did ask how much the last
treatment cost, which was $6,300. He said if insurance were paying for some of
it, he would tell us to just do another IUI because I responded so well, but insurance
doesn’t cover anything, so he said it just wasn’t cost effective.
Yes, I responded well enough to do IVF, but here is what
most of you don’t understand. Because I
have low ovarian reserve, I don’t have the number of eggs that the normal woman
has. There is absolutely nothing I can
do about that. It doesn’t matter what I
change about my health or what diet I’m on or what meds I take. You are born with the number of eggs you will
have. You can’t increase that number.
Only God can do that. It is what it is.
The average woman takes the drugs that I was on and can produce upwards of
twenty follicles. During IVF the doctors
take the eggs out and fertilize them and select the best embryos to implant
into the woman. The average woman may
end up with more than ten embryos, so she can spend $20,000 on the first full
round of IVF and come back and use frozen embryos that she has left over and do
another round that will be much less since she doesn’t have to take any
drugs. I, on the other hand, only
produced five mature follicles on IVF drugs.
They would probably have to implant all of my embryos into me the first
time, that’s only if they are of good quality.
If it didn’t work the first time, I wouldn’t have frozen embryos. I would have to do the full cycle over
again. Two rounds of IVF would cost me
$40,000. Plus, it’s a risk, because we
don’t know the quality of my eggs. I
could risk that much money and have nothing to show for it. It’s a great procedure for the average woman,
but it’s not ideal for us. IVF is not an option for us. As the doctor put it, it wouldn’t be cost
effective, it would be risky, and I would have low chances of conceiving. We could try it with donor eggs, but you are
looking at $30,000 or more to do that.
Okay, so there is adoption.
I’ve said it before, but adoption of an infant is extremely
expensive. It costs roughly $25,000 to
adopt an infant from an adoption agency in the U.S. It costs even more if you adopt one
overseas. You will also be on a waiting
list for a long time. I believe that
adoption is a calling. We could adopt a
foster child, but you deal with risks: behavioral issues, developmental issues,
psychological issues. Many of these
children have been abused. If you don’t
believe me, go to the Heart Gallery of Alabama website and view the children
waiting to be adopted. I think it is a wonderful program, but you also have to
be careful. You don’t know what you
could be bringing into your home, and you have to be prepared to deal with the abuse
that many of these children have come from and the issues that stem from that
abuse. There are many people who I know
who have been able to adopt without going through an agency. It is much less expensive, but those are rare
situations.
On to plan Z! Embryo donation is our best option. My doctor is in charge of that program. He thinks this is a wise decision and a cost
effective one. It is $5,800 to do this
procedure. That is much cheaper than
anything else I could do, and it significantly increases my chances of getting
pregnant. There is a 30-50% chance of
getting pregnant per embryo. They will
put 2-3 embryos inside and hope that at least one implants. We will be placed
on a waiting list. I don’t know how long
that is, but he told me it would be months and not years. It is no different than adopting. It is even better. I will get to carry the child. However, it is a one-time deal. They don’t let you continue repeating the
procedure over and over again. If it
doesn’t work, you go back to the bottom of the waiting list. They will allow
you to do this procedure until you are 50 years old. Don’t worry.
I have no plans of being pregnant when I’m 50. All we can do is try it. The hardest part is mourning your chances of
having a biological child. You have to
let that go. Unless God intervenes and
allows us to conceive on our own, which is ALWAYS a possibility, we will not be
able to conceive a child that is biologically ours. That makes me very sad, but I can’t do
anything about it. Being on a waiting list will give us time to pay off the
last loan we took out. We almost have it
paid off. Then we will have to take out
another loan to do the procedure.
Thanks for your prayers.
If you have ideas about how we can fund raise, send them our way. If you know of anyone who is going through
infertility treatments, I have leftover medicines that need a home. Send them my way. I can help them out.
Love,
Shatisa
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