Well, the search has begun. We are checking prices with pharmacies who specialize in fertility drugs. We can't take out a loan until we know how much to take out. We got our first quote today. Pharmacy #1 quoted us a price of $5,880. Add in everything else, and we are looking at about $7,200. That particular pharmacy has a program where you can fill out an application to try and qualify for help with the cost of your drugs. We've tried before with a pharmaceutical company but were told we made too much money. This particular application asks for a letter of hardship. That made us feel a little better because we could explain our situation. Anyway, it would be nice to qualify for assistance. Richard will be calling pharmacy #2 tomorrow for a price quote. After we get some final numbers, we can start shopping loan rates.
I don't really know how we are going to do this, but I know it will all work out. I've stopped expecting others to give/donate. There have been many who have helped us, but the money has stopped coming in. I'm thankful for the ones who have helped. We realize that we are on our own. It has taught me a lesson though. I used to be one of those who would see someone trying to raise money or see someone in need and ignore it or think that I didn't have a substantial amount to give so there was no point in giving. Now I realize that every little bit helps. We don't have a lot to give right now, but we've decided to help others and give whatever we can. We just want to bless others the way that we've been blessed. The money will come. God will make a way like he always has.
So how can you pray for us? Well, first pray for Godly wisdom so that we will make the right decisions. Then you can pray for God to remove stress from our lives. The fall is always a very stressful time for me at school, and I really don't need that right now. Pray that either pharmacy #2 will be substantially cheaper or we will qualify for pharmacy #1's program. Pray for a really good interest rate on a loan. Pray that this procedure works so we won't have to take out a loan for IVF right after we finish. There are so many things to pray for. If this doesn't work and the doctor tells me that IVF isn't an option, I will be devastated, but I will have closure. I don't need a doctor to get pregnant. I know the great physician. At least I will know that I don't need to spend anymore time or money at the fertility clinic. If all of this is just too much to pray for, just be like my mom and pray that I will be pregnant by the time I go back to the doctor. Wouldn't that be nice! I love a good miracle.
Thanks again for your love and support.
Shatisa
Monday, August 25, 2014
Tuesday, August 12, 2014
The Beginning of the End
Where to begin!?! Well, we met with our doctor today. This is our first meeting since the last failed IUI. I have been praying that God would give our doctor wisdom and that we would get guidance from him as to what we should do next. We talked about the IUI and how I didn't have a lot of follicles but great estradiol numbers. He said what he's said many times, that I just am not producing the amount of eggs I should with the high dosage of medicine I'm on.
So what's next? He asked us what we were thinking about doing, and we told him that we thought we would try one last IUI, and if it doesn't work, we will do IVF. He said that he thought that was a great plan. We went into this meeting knowing that another IUI would be expensive, because I'm completely out of meds, but we thought that it would be manageable since another friend had offered me a little leftover medicine that might help reduce the cost a bit. However, that was not the case. I won't be using her donated meds.
Our doctor said that he wants to put me on the full regimen of IVF meds for this IUI. It's really a great plan. He said by doing this we can figure out how my body will respond to the meds and if IVF would even be an option for us. So if I don't respond well, we know not to waste our money on IVF, which could save us $20,000 in the long run. The only problem is that these drugs are ridiculously expensive. The drugs alone will be between $5,000-$7,000. That's not counting appointments and the actual IUI. Needless to say, I'm overwhelmed.
The financial side of it is hard to stomach. Do you take out a loan? Do you charge some of it? It's enough to make your head spin. We have to call pharmaceutical companies to see who can give us the cheapest price since our insurance pays nothing. Then we have to check on interest rates and loan programs. I don't want to take out a loan if we may have to turn around and take out another loan for $20,000 for IVF. I just want to scream.
Once again, we discussed the unknown, not knowing if I'm really producing good quality eggs and having no way of truly knowing until we do IVF, but IVF is a $20,000 diagnostic tool. Who can afford that? But he did talk about those risks with us, if I do respond well and have to actually do IVF. He said that we could spend that money and not produce enough embryos when it's all said and done, but at least we will have closure. If I don't have good eggs, he said we then had to decide if we wanted to use donor eggs, donor embryos, or adopt. Those are all things I can't even wrap my brain around right now.
How do I feel? Numb! I've been doing this so long that I just feel numb, and the rainy weather, death of Robin Williams, genocide of Christians, war in Gaza, and ten thousand other horrible things I see on the news only add to the numbness and sadness I feel. Do I trust God? Totally! But it doesn't mean that the devil doesn't attack me on a daily basis. I know God will provide a way, but it doesn't mean that my brain isn't moving a hundred miles an hour trying desperately to process all of this information. I still have moments when I am fighting fear and depression. I have faith that God has a plan for us, and I still know without a doubt that we will be parents. It's not a lack of faith to be concerned with whether or not you are making the right decisions, following God's plan.
So here we are. We are about to drop some serious cash that we don't have, but we are just trusting that God will provide a way for us to pay it. If I respond well to the meds but the IUI doesn't work, we will take out a loan for $20,000 and try IVF. If IVF doesn't work, we will adopt. The one good thing is that we have plenty of time to adopt. The clock isn't ticking when it comes to adoption, and this next route will give us some definite answers and help us to know if we should close a door and walk away from it.
We still need your prayers. We still need donations. Here is our link to our fundraising site: http://www.youcaring.com/medical-fundraiser/our-journey-to-parenthood/50742. Feel free to share it on your Facebook page or Twitter. Thank you to all of you who have texted, emailed, and messaged me on Facebook. I appreciate your support, kind words, and donations.
Love,
Shatisa
So what's next? He asked us what we were thinking about doing, and we told him that we thought we would try one last IUI, and if it doesn't work, we will do IVF. He said that he thought that was a great plan. We went into this meeting knowing that another IUI would be expensive, because I'm completely out of meds, but we thought that it would be manageable since another friend had offered me a little leftover medicine that might help reduce the cost a bit. However, that was not the case. I won't be using her donated meds.
Our doctor said that he wants to put me on the full regimen of IVF meds for this IUI. It's really a great plan. He said by doing this we can figure out how my body will respond to the meds and if IVF would even be an option for us. So if I don't respond well, we know not to waste our money on IVF, which could save us $20,000 in the long run. The only problem is that these drugs are ridiculously expensive. The drugs alone will be between $5,000-$7,000. That's not counting appointments and the actual IUI. Needless to say, I'm overwhelmed.
The financial side of it is hard to stomach. Do you take out a loan? Do you charge some of it? It's enough to make your head spin. We have to call pharmaceutical companies to see who can give us the cheapest price since our insurance pays nothing. Then we have to check on interest rates and loan programs. I don't want to take out a loan if we may have to turn around and take out another loan for $20,000 for IVF. I just want to scream.
Once again, we discussed the unknown, not knowing if I'm really producing good quality eggs and having no way of truly knowing until we do IVF, but IVF is a $20,000 diagnostic tool. Who can afford that? But he did talk about those risks with us, if I do respond well and have to actually do IVF. He said that we could spend that money and not produce enough embryos when it's all said and done, but at least we will have closure. If I don't have good eggs, he said we then had to decide if we wanted to use donor eggs, donor embryos, or adopt. Those are all things I can't even wrap my brain around right now.
How do I feel? Numb! I've been doing this so long that I just feel numb, and the rainy weather, death of Robin Williams, genocide of Christians, war in Gaza, and ten thousand other horrible things I see on the news only add to the numbness and sadness I feel. Do I trust God? Totally! But it doesn't mean that the devil doesn't attack me on a daily basis. I know God will provide a way, but it doesn't mean that my brain isn't moving a hundred miles an hour trying desperately to process all of this information. I still have moments when I am fighting fear and depression. I have faith that God has a plan for us, and I still know without a doubt that we will be parents. It's not a lack of faith to be concerned with whether or not you are making the right decisions, following God's plan.
So here we are. We are about to drop some serious cash that we don't have, but we are just trusting that God will provide a way for us to pay it. If I respond well to the meds but the IUI doesn't work, we will take out a loan for $20,000 and try IVF. If IVF doesn't work, we will adopt. The one good thing is that we have plenty of time to adopt. The clock isn't ticking when it comes to adoption, and this next route will give us some definite answers and help us to know if we should close a door and walk away from it.
We still need your prayers. We still need donations. Here is our link to our fundraising site: http://www.youcaring.com/medical-fundraiser/our-journey-to-parenthood/50742. Feel free to share it on your Facebook page or Twitter. Thank you to all of you who have texted, emailed, and messaged me on Facebook. I appreciate your support, kind words, and donations.
Love,
Shatisa
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)